If - rudyUArd kipling
If you can keep your client settings when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can bounce the server when users doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can make typos, go back and edit,
Or, move to Long-Posts because of size,
Or, read Relationships, don't read too much into it,
And yet don't post too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can slag off Windows - and not annoy The Master;
Keep calm when Ref signs posts with his name;
If you can meet with uptime and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to see the truth you've posted
Twisted in Pedantry to make a trap for fools,
Or lose the bit of 'net where UA's hosted,
And stoop and build it up with GNU tools;

If you can make one heap of all the logins
And risk it on one EDF request,
And seg fault, and connect again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your test;
If you can force the tired admin
To fix the system long after bedtime's gone,
And so hold messages when there is nothing doing
Except the will which says "turn your pager on";

If you can post in Filth and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Bosses - nor loose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can rile you;
If people upgrade with you, but none too much;
If you can give the unforgiving users
60 copies-worth of client run -
Yours is UA, read everything that's in it,
And - which is more - they will say "nice one son"
Techno