The Carrier Bag Debate

Long, long ago, when the earth was young and beer was not chilled by the pagan entites of fridges, this debate was carved in the stone of UA history. But since this debate was that old, it is only preserved by the re-post of another, but it is displayed here in all it's glory so that you may learn... or laugh :-)

              
Message 668 (of 675, 6 more unread) in HUMOUR:
Date: Wednesday, 16 April, 1997 - 12:45 PM
From: BIAFRA
Subject: The old 'carrier bags debate'
 
A piece of UA history:
 
(probably split across posts due to the size)
 
Message 270 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 10:11 AM
From: COBRA
Subject: bags
 
people who carry their stuff in Aldi carrier bags... specifically one
person.
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Replied-to-by: FAT BOY ON A DIET
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 272 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 10:25 AM
From: FAT BOY ON A DIET
To: COBRA
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 270
 
>people who carry their stuff in Aldi carrier bags... specifically one
person.
 
I am *very* offended by this message.
I'm also suspicious....
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Replied-to-by: JON E HATE
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 273 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:21 AM
From: JON E HATE
To: FAT BOY ON A DIET
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 272, 270
 
Aldi is tops, If I didn't live in Fallowfield I'd shop there.
In years to come Aldi bags will be worth millions
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Replied-to-by: BIAFRA
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 274 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:23 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: BIAFRA
To: JON E HATE
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 273, 272, 270
 
Personally I think Kwik Save Bags are stylish in a subdued,
definitely-non-tacky kind of way...
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Replied-to-by: FAT BOY ON A DIET
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 275 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:26 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: FAT BOY ON A DIET
To: BIAFRA
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 274, 273, 272, 270
 
No way, Aldi bags kick ass.
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Replied-to-by: JON E HATE
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 276 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:29 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: JON E HATE
To: FAT BOY ON A DIET
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
although I have gained a large collection of Gateway bags recently,
but they are thin and so fall apart quite easily.
Therefore I conclude Aldi bags are the best so far
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Replied-to-by: BIAFRA
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 277 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:34 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: BIAFRA
To: JON E HATE
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
I find that Kwik Save bags (and Aldi ones I s'pose) are
far better than those from supermarkets at the lower end of
the scale (eg. Safeway, Asda etc. <- Sorry for swearing...)
because they're the ones that don't crinkle and make a hell
of a noise. Walking down the street and being embarrased by
your carrier bag is _far_ worse than than any other social
faux-pas you care to mention.
--
Replied-to-by: FAT BOY ON A DIET
 
+01:12 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 278 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:42 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: FAT BOY ON A DIET
To: BIAFRA
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
>I find that Kwik Save bags (and Aldi ones I s'pose) are
 
I s'pose? Do I detect a hint of grudge bearing in that sentence?
 
>supermarkets at the lower end of the scale (eg. Safeway, Asda etc. <-
Sorry
>for swearing...)
 
HERETIC! BURN THE HERETIC!
 
>being embarrased by your carrier bag is _far_ worse than than any other
>social faux-pas you care to mention.
 
Indeed it is. But an Aldi bag would only split on you after years, even
decades
of fathful service, and as such can *never* cause embarrassment. In fact,
when
an Aldi bag breaks, it is more akin to a death of a close relative than to
anything remotely resembling embarrassment....
--
Replied-to-by: JON E HATE
Message 279 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:50 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: JON E HATE
To: FAT BOY ON A DIET
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
Kwik Save bags only last two or three trips, but remember,
An Aldi bag is not just for shopping, it's for life
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Replied-to-by: FAT BOY ON A DIET
 
+01:14 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 280 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 11:55 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: FAT BOY ON A DIET
To: JON E HATE
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 279, 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
:has at least 15 Aldi bags.
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Replied-to-by: MONGOOSE
 
+01:14 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 281 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 1:16 PM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: MONGOOSE
To: FAT BOY ON A DIET
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 280, 279, 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
Personally, I always put my faith in a good, old-fashioned
Lo-Cost bag.  Shunned by it's "richer" relatives, it's always
there when you need it and gives a comforting feeling of bloaty
stretchiness when full.
--
Replied-to-by: JON E HATE
 
Next installment coming up...
--
Replied-to-by: BIAFRA
 
+00:13 [HUMOUR] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 669 (of 675, 5 more unread) in HUMOUR:
Date: Wednesday, 16 April, 1997 - 12:49 PM
From: BIAFRA
To: BIAFRA
Subject: The old 'carrier bags debate'
In-Reply-To: 668
 
Message 282 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 1:20 PM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: JON E HATE
To: MONGOOSE
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 281, 280, 279, 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
Lo-cost!
huh!
you cheap whore
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Replied-to-by: MONGOOSE
 
+01:14 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 283 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 1:23 PM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: MONGOOSE
To: JON E HATE
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 282, 281, 280, 279, 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272, 270
 
I owe my life to Lo-cost bags: one night, whilst safely asleep
upstairs in my mongoose-hole (honest,) a fire started blazing
through my house.  I awoke, to find the flames lapping hungrily
at my door?  What could I do?  Well, thanks the good old
fashioned strength in your average Lo-cost bag I simply tied a
few together into a rope and scrambled out the window to
freedom.
The point?  Well, Aldi may make their bags out of this new
fangled plastic but in a crisis it's prone to melt.  Lo-cost
prefer the more ancient method of fashioning their carrier bags
from steel so they don't let you down in high temperature
crisis.
--
Replied-to-by: BIAFRA
 
+01:15 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 284 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Wednesday, 9 February, 1994 - 3:32 PM
From: MORIARTY
Subject: bags
 
And further they provide hours of endless pleasure for lonely MP's.
 
(Sorry, that was tastless.)
 
+01:15 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
 
Message 286 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Thursday, 10 February, 1994 - 11:10 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: BIAFRA
To: MONGOOSE
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 283, 282, 281, 280, 279, 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273, 272,
270
 
Soon to come (I heard this on the Aldi grapevine) are a new range
of surreal Aldi carrier bags, based on the astounding fact (and
not coincidence) that Aldi is an anagram of Dali (actually it's
the other way around, I think that Salvador bloke named himself
after Aldi in respectful homage)
 
So, expect to be carrying around Aldi bags made out of orange peel
etc.
????????????????????????????????????--
Replied-to-by: BIAFRA
Message 288 (of 289) in SILLY [REREAD]:
Date: Thursday, 10 February, 1994 - 11:14 AM
Editor: BIAFRA
From: FAT BOY ON A DIET
To: BIAFRA
Subject: bags
In-Reply-To: 286, 283, 282, 281, 280, 279, 278, 277, 276, 275, 274, 273,
272,
2$
 
As told to me by a BIP last night :-
 
"What's blue red and yellow and full of shit? An Aldi carrier bag."
 
Needless to say, I toasted the heretic. But seriously, Aldi carrier bags
do
have a vast array of possible uses.
 
1. To carry your shopping home from Aldi.
2. To carry other things in.
3. To use as wallpaper.
4. To use as carpet/tablecloth/any home decoration.
5. To suffocate people with.
6. To use as socks.
 
Need I carry on?
 
+01:15 [SILLY] Reading (? for help) N
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Replied-to-by: ALLUVEAI